JUGGLING THE ART OF MOTHERHOOD

I have officially become a #bossmom! 

Well . . . that’s what I thought I was going to be saying by now.  Those ladies are the words I thought would be saying to everyone when they ask me how life is with a baby. Oh, how I was wrong. So wrong.  I honestly thought I will be the THAT mom.  The one who could do it all. I mean, I am sure we all thought we could juggle motherhood and career, but reality came and settled in quick. 

Now I’m sure there are some of you out there bossin’ it up, but I quickly found out any mom out there who’s both a stay at home mom and working/running a company either has A) a team of grandparents to help or B) full-time nannies. For whatever reason, I thought I could do it all myself.

But there I was, a few months ago, trying to figure out the formula to do it all - juggle the full-time job of taking care of my few months old baby boy and start my another fashion company. 

I knew it would be a lot of work, but I knew I could do it. I mean, I had started 4 other companies and cared for babies at the same time.  I mean, I can count my partner and employees as a baby right? 

Kidding aside, I did bring my baby niece into my office and meeting as my sister worked a corporate job. 

So in I dove, naive of how hard it truly is to launch Boonzie and take care of my little boonzie.

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Weeks went by, then a month, then two months, and what did I have to show? Before having my son, those few months would have been enough time to design my bags, have the samples made, orders in, and shifting into full production. 

This time around, I had hardly got the first draft of my designs done.  But starting to work again was actually as much therapeutic as it was making money.  

Struggling with postnatal depression I felt like a zombie. I didn’t have any interest or energy to do anything besides feeding my son and putting him to sleep. But that’s only the beginning.

One moment I felt like completely lifeless, the next moment, I would feel my entire existence consumed by anxiety and visions (hallucinations?) of dropping my son. My anxiety level was so high that I constantly thought “am I fit to be a mother.” Honestly, there are still days that I still feel this way. 

With everything that was going on as a mother complied by major sleep deprivation, my body felt foreign to me and every day I felt like I was taking a step back instead of forward.  Soon enough though, I began my crawl from the deep sea trenches of postnatal depression.

I mean I wouldn’t say that I am fully out of the ‘postnatal depression phase’ but I can tell that I have come a long way from how I was feeling just a few months ago. So many mama’s out there that are going through postnatal depression I suggest that you start or force your self to do what you loved pre-baby just to get things moving. For me working was my comfort zone.

When I started to work again, I could feel the excitement but at the same time, it was foreign.  After Nolan I feel like everything I do is just different. They say that a baby changes you, but they should actually say that a baby changes EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO! 

It was like learning to ride a bike all over again . . . but the bike is a unicycle and who the hell rides those. It took me a few days of testing the water. Days where I would just sit and stare at my screen not knowing where to start or what to do. 

But I knew I had to push through to get familiar again with my work. Once I started to get my work groove on then there was another huge learning curve I hit.  Like damn, this mommy life is crazy. How do we even do it ladies? 

 

 

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I am a big time PLANNER. I LOVE PLANNING EVERY SEC OF MY DAY. And if you have a plan on how you will be juggling motherhood and work I suggest that you throw that out the window because when you are a mummy that is working from home you have to come to terms that your child is now your boss. So I needed to learn. Take it slow, set goals, but be flexible.

Usually daily routine consists of playing with Nolan with one hand and working with the other. Most time Nolan wins and he gets all my attention. But there are times where I would surround him with a dozen toys hoping he will entertain himself for half an hour, but most days I end up being the ‘toy’ that entertains him. 

So I figured the best time to work is when he is taking his nap but then I found out my son only naps for 45 min, not a minute more. 

if you have a plan on how you will be
juggling motherhood and work I suggest that you throw that out the window

Most of the time, I have to work the weekends when my husband is home to take care of Nolan (If you are planning to work on the weekend spend the 1st hour with the family so you still get that family time and won’t have that much mummy guilt anxiety in you and take half an hour breaks in between work as well). 

Besides that, I also work at night while he is asleep as most my factories are in opposite time zones. In a way it is a blessing that me and the factories are in two different time zone, because it definitely makes things easier. 

Other days, I go down to the city so I can get help from my sister’s nanny so I can work from a coffee shop which honestly is my most productive time. But Nolan recently started having separation anxiety, and mannnnn it is hard to leave him. He cries for hours and I can feel his pain, as I am sure he is confused as to why I am leaving him. I must say working as a mother is definitely a hard thing to do emotionally. 

As much as I love working and know that this is what I want to do it is still harder than I ever imagined. I have so much respect for mothers that work a 9-5 job. 

And the last 2 weeks we got our own Nanny that could help us out, I figured that if the nanny comes to our house it would be easier for Nolan as he will be around familiar things and I get to work at home so just In case anything happens I am right there with him. 

But mannnnn it is way harder to work from home with a nanny because I actually have to sit and do work while hearing him cry. I do work in a separate room or outside but I can still hear him and it doesn’t get easier ladies. 

Anyways, this is why I think that mummies are superheroes. We have to deal with the crazy emotions, the physical changes, and still keep a happy demeanor around our child. So here I am trying to figure the right formula on how to be a superhero badass #bossmom. Till next time #boonziemoms